Tangled up in my spirituality have been a lot of symptoms which have recently been diagnosed for me as Depression.
A clinical psychiatrist described this as severe, meaning, he qualified (I think), deep-seated. Who knows how deep? Perhaps I have been depressed since my mid-teens. That might have flavoured my whole spiritual journey.
Depression can result in wrong-thinking, but wrong-thinking can result in depression too. Wilful wrong-thinking would be my fault, in a fault-finding universe.
Anyway, lots of questions, and, at point of writing, maybe a glint of light that isn't hellfire (though it might not be heaven, either). Not to waste it, I'm posting this, but ending my post here.